Belonging: Is it “out there” or within??

This seems to be part of the universal human condition and is incredibly relevant when it comes to my work in women’s circles.

With disconnection and separation (from Self/other/the same), comes concepts that we recognise as sense of belonging, fitting in, lone wolf, individualism, and so on.

I went through a natural distancing of longtime close friendships many years ago, once I started walking down the path of health and wellness. I found myself in a place of not knowing where I “fit in” or who my close friends were anymore. This was my life for a couple of years, and it was hard. I had the constant “not good enough” and “need for belonging” stories circulating my (un)consciousness.

My path eventually lead me to aligning with many amazing people walking a similar path, with similar interests and ways of seeing the world. Many years later and this continues to happen for me over and over again. I have the most wonderful people around me at the moment and for this I am deeply grateful. Some friendships I feel will stick “forever.” Others distance for a while and come back together again, stronger than ever. Others may come and go for good… and I’ve learned and grown to be ok with all of this (most of the time – attachments). It’s almost like moving through cycles… Birthing, growing, learning, shifting, expanding, releasing, letting go, rebirthing, regenerating, repeating.

Perhaps needing that sense of belonging “out there” is an imaginary game that the ego plays to keep us safe and protect us. As my consciousness continues to expand, I realise more and more that belonging is internal. All this time, I was never searching for belonging out there, outside myself. It was always an internal spaciousness, an unconditional love of self, an inner knowing of truth and coming home to myself, that has lead to this “belonging”. I feel that when this is present, one can “belong” anywhere. But even more than this, now that I know, remember (and forget and re-remember) this love, truth and coming home, the need/desire for belonging seems to (mostly) dissolve… at least in my experience.

If you feel this need/desire for belonging, or are going through distancing of friendships, know that you are not alone, that you are supported, loved and you got this. It is all part of the wholeness and fullness of this colourful life….

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